Superbly manufactured if I do say so myself

Two posts in two days. Wow.

Two squirrels are in the bar, one turns to the other and says, “you look like a carrot that just ate a weasel”

No pun intended.

Anyway. I don’t know that I have anything to post but I felt like I had to do it. So….

What’s the difference between Michelle and a squirrel?

One eats nuts and the other is nuts.

Timaru still exists. I know it because I am here, in the land of Timaru. With my hostage, the giant squirrel lover of doom (hehe, did I make anyone think of the game?).

No-one else is at my house in timaru at the moment, because they are all camping. It’s quite exciting because I stole my brother’s room while he doesn’t know, it’s way nicer than mine is, he has a big comfortable bed.

I am allergic to my cat. It’s quite sad really, I like him but he makes me sniffle and sneeze.

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb?

It depends on how long it takes for them to nut out how to do it.



The blogger thing went nuts today. First I could not sign in, then I was signed into Ian and Leeza Lesleys account. Just think of the havoc I could have wreaked. But I was good. It made me think how fun it would be if it did it into someones who I knew. Hehe.

The infamous jelly-cracker strikes again. Watch out Alfred

Hehehe, I am a kidnapper. I wan. I kidnapped Michelle, with the aid of my trusty sidekick Ferdinand the grand.

It's all Michelle's fault that I am posting now. Obviously I haven't posted for a long time but then she posted using MY (aka my parents) computer, so I have no excuse. I know I'm a slacker.

Bye

More jokes

I figured it was a long time since I posted anything, so I should say something. Unfortunately, I don't really bave anything profound to share with you all. So, I thought more jokes may be in order.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was an udder catastrophe!

What did the snail say when he rode on the turtle's back?
WHEEEEEEEE!!!

What did the monkey say when he put his tail
on the Railroad tracks?
It won't be long now!

Did you know that they had baseball in the Bible?
In the Big Inning Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and the Prodigal son ran home.

Who serves ice cream faster than a speeding bullet?
Scooperman!

What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you.

What is grey on the inside and clear on the outside?
An elephant in a zip-lock sandwich bag.

Why does a ballerina wear a tutu?
Because the one-one's too small and the three-three's too big.

If two shirt collars had a race, which one would win?
Neither one. It would end in a tie.

The Twilight Zone

Today we went to the twilight fair. It was at Ilam school. It was fun. I went with Heln. I also went with Ruth. We played games. We wan prizes. I wan a joke book. It was called "101 computer jokes". Some of the jokes are funny. Some of the jokes are not funny.Heln. wan a dress up doll book. Ruth wan some paper. It was nice paper. We also wan a bottle of fizz. It was a mystery bottle. It isn't a mystery anymore. It is diet 7up. We at food. I ate chicken tikka masala. So did Ruth. Heln ate steak. I cannot structure complicated sentences. Oh well. There was candy floss. We did not eat candy floss. There were bouncy castles. We were too big for the bouncy castles.

Na na, na na na (in an annoying sing song voice)

I just finished my last (and only) exam. I'm feeling quite happy right now about that, and thought I'd just like to mention it. There was the most brilliant question. How good is it to write 'uh huh' for an answer and know that its right.

This means that I am now free of uni for 3 months. Its great.

Jokes (so that you can laugh)

Why did the one-handed gorilla cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.

What is the plural of man?
Men

Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
The red ones were in the wash!

What is the plural of child?
Twins

What wears a coat in the winter and pants in the summer?
A dog.

How Do You Catch A Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

How Do You Catch A Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boggie in it.

Coming soon...

on this blog (my name is not archibald for those who are confused) is a great piece of literature. It will be written completely by the author and will involve fun, excitement and enough suspense to keep you in suspenders for a long time.

The title of this masterpiece (just to give you a sneak preview that no-one else will see) will be "The Adventures of Boris". Unfortunately, I can not yet introduce you to Boris because he is hiding, but he will surface at the right moment. So watch this space.

The second post

This is the second post. I don't actually have anything to say so I'll just ramble cos I really want to write something now that I have on of these annoying blog things. How about I tell you all how I came to have a blog. Well, it all started today. I was commenting anonymously on peoples blogs because I wanted to, it is quite fun really, and then I discovered that some people wouldn't let me, so I thought to myself "how annoying, I want to comment but they won't let me". So... I went to Nathans bit where it says "get a blog, it only takes 3 minutes" (or something to that affect), and clicked the button. Then I created a blog.

Really I caved to the pressure of Blogville. As it turns out people don't really talk in the real world anymore and I was missing out on everything. Quite sad really.

Hehe

Hehe, i wonder who will get the first comment.